Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Week 1 - Recovering a Sense of Safety

As an artist, I am blocked, I have been for quite some time and have resisted all urges to pursue my passion. I am embarrassed to admit that I long to be a writer, and fearful of what possibilities that could mean. What if my long lost dream is exposed? What will I say when I tell people that I am a writer, and they ask 'What do you write about?' Would it be silly to admit that I have no clue?

I am already meeting resistance today, my first day on my journey to restore my creative self. I am already trying to make my posts interesting, wondering what other people might think, and if I sound too amateurish in my abilities to produce good works of writing. My censor, and negative beliefs already poking out their ugly little heads... How many times have you attempted this journey? Isn't this the third time? Twice already you have given up... TWICE!!!!

Well here's what I have to say... Third time's the charm.

I am taking on a twelve-week course called 'The Artist's Way', a book by Julia Cameron, which is basically a course in discovering and recovering your creative self. For obvious reasons, the majority of my explorations will be kept private journal just for me, but each week I will do a little check in, to help me stay accountable.

Focus for this week: Practicing the two basic tools that I will need to follow through with for the entire course. The Morning Pages and The Artist Date.

The Morning Pages are three hand written pages every morning, about anything and everything. Just a mind dump of all worries, fears, concerns, life, job, weather, beliefs, dreams, hopes, experiences... whatever. It's not meant to be perfect, and is used as a tool in becoming the artist that I was meant to be. This a a daily non-negotiable must.

The Artist Date is the one that I am meeting with more resistance than even the morning pages. My first thought, 'Where will I find 2 hours each week that I can be by myself?' Rare are the moments that I leave home without my spouse or my daughter, and then my second thought 'Would it be too selfish of me to take this time for myself? What would I do?' Again this is another important tool in restoring creativity, so I will do my best to work it into my week.

Twelve week commitment - To The 'Artist's Way'

CONTRACT


I, Michelle Arthurs, understand that I am undertaking an intensive, guided encounter with my own creativity. I commit myself to the twelve-week duration of the course. I, Michelle, commit to weekly reading, daily morning pages, a weekly artist date, and the fulfillment of each week's tasks.

I, Michelle, further understand that this course will raise issues and emotions for me to deal with. I, Michelle, commit myself to excellent self-care - adequate sleep, diet, exercise, and pampering for the duration of the course.

Michelle Arthurs
June 5th, 2012